“In nature we never see anything isolated, but everything in connection with something else which is before it, beside it, under it and over it.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Social connections are not an option. I think we established this concept in the Make Friends or Die Early post but I want to drive the point home today. Not everyone needs a lot of social connections, but most people need at least a few.
Please take a moment and consider the success of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, WordPress, and if I was a tween, I could probably list many more successful social media sites. You see, they are successful because the premise is connection.
When we treat social connections like an option we become starved for connection and we lower our standards . It is kind of like when you don’t eat all day and you are starving on your way home. Then you see a Taco Bell and you know it is going to make you feel like garbage but you don’t care because you’re starving. So, you pull off and grab a bag of cheese and “meat” and stuff it down your throat. Initially, you feel full but then you feel like garbage.
This is what happens when you starve yourself of social connections.
You will allow yourself to connect with someone(s) that is not healthy because you’re starving. Initially, it might feel good to be connected but if you give it some time you notice that you feel like garbage.
It is that feeling you get when you hook up with someone that you know you don’t really like. Or, the feeling you get when you spend time with a friend that likes to tell you that you look great for your age or asks you if “you’re really going to eat that?”
If you are already in a committed relationship and you notice that you are tempted to hit up Taco Bell on the way home. Maybe first try and let your partner know that you need more of their time and that you are feeling disconnected.
The solution? Don’t wait until you’re starving for social connections to make an effort to establish relationships. Grocery shop regularly, so to speak. Maintain healthy social connections and keep them going. Try and meet people before you feel like you’re starving for connection (meaning you’re thinking about calling that person that always makes you feel bad). Put yourself out there and get curious and ask questions about the people in your world. Use the connections you already have to make more.
Make sure to keep those expectations high in your relationships because you deserve to be treated well.
I can hear you saying “It’s not that easy” and you’re right. A good meal tastes and feels a lot better than a queso mess of meat, but it also costs a little more.
Either way, you have to eat.
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