You Are Survived By Me.

“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”
J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

I woke this morning to a text that my dad’s roommate “Bob” died. (we’ll call him Bob because persons with disabilities have the right to privacy). It’s been said that Bob has never had a bad day. It’s true that Bob was one of my favorite people in all the world.

My dad lived with Bob for about ten years. I looked forward to every moment I spent with his sweet soul. He was one of my most kind and loving men I’ve ever known. To the best of my knowledge, he did not have family in the technical sense. He wasn’t visited much if ever by people outside the home. This makes me sad for all the people that did not get to know the love and kindness that Bob radiated.

Obituaries are often a list of life’s accomplishments, such as so and so graduated from here and did this with his life. I never understood how that captured a person’s life.

Bob’s accomplishments were that he lit up a room. He gave the best hugs. He never stopped smiling. He asked you how you were doing. He remembered what you told him. He made the best of a clearly challenging life. He loved peppermint patties and sour cream. He liked to take seconds at dinner. Bob was kind and loving to every person he ever interacted with. He had a contagious laugh. He was genuine and you could feel it. After all, he never had a bad day. He seemed to know the secret to contentment.

Bob is survived by a home filled with men who loved him. And, men that never understood how he could be “so damn happy” all the time. He is survived by home staff that loved him. He is survived by my husband and my brother. And, my sweet Bob, you are survived by me. My heart breaks knowing that I will not get to share time with you again.

I will never forget your sweet, kind, and loving soul. You were a gift to this world. I am better for having known you. Thank you.

Hey Bob, we’ll be seeing you then.


“Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into
Something beautiful,
Do you know,
You know I love you so” – Yellow, Coldplay


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s