Restless Life Syndrome

“I’m restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again.”

Anaïs Nin

I’m stuck. And, I have no idea what I want and why I feel stuck. I spend my days with other therapists who specialize in asking the perfect questions to get someone unstuck. Despite their best efforts, I can’t figure it out. In fact, I think they’re avoiding me in an attempt to stop the conversation.

I am fantastic at spelling out all the things I do not want. But, I have a terrible case of restless life syndrome. The daily grind is hard on my soul. But, I love my job and I love what I do. Do you see where this is problematic?

It’s not that something is missing. The parts are all there. If I step back and look at my life, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Nevertheless, I feel restless. It’s not boredom. I don’t have time for boredom. I’m not unfulfilled. I seek out fulfillment on a daily basis.

Perhaps, I’m having a vacation/adventure hangover. But, I’m not the kind of person that wants to travel the world with a backpack. I mean, I refuse to sleep in a tent ever again.

My brother and I had a long talk about our “faith systems” this morning. We are incapable of talking about the mundane. If you give us fifteen minutes, we’ll be exploring the universe and the illusion of time. It’s one of my favorite things about him. We’re desperate to know more about everything.

I bring this up because I feel like screaming to the sky and saying, “What is it? What am I missing?” I’ll give it a try but I won’t scream, the people in my office are already avoiding me.

Maybe I need a good book, or a stiff drink.

Love.

 

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