The concept of Forgiveness keeps presenting itself in different ways in my life. I mean, I am a therapist so it is no surprise that such a complex psychological concept finds its way to me time and time again.
Recently, it was suggested that I forgive someone in my life. I responded with, “I have forgiven them but forgiveness does not always mean you get to come back into my life.”
In therapy, I liken the inability to forgive to holding onto a fiery rope that binds two people together. By holding onto a person or event that is painful, I am actively choosing to hurt myself. If I am able to forgive you, I am able to let go of the fiery rope that binds us. In some cases, a healthier rope emerges and a bond is forged again. But, in other cases, the only bond that is possible is a painful one. If that is the case, I still forgive. And, for the times where I have hurt someone, I hope they are able to let go of the painful rope that binds them to me. I hope that for them because a life of pain and resentment is no good.
Essentially, an act of forgiveness is letting go of the fiery rope that binds me to you.
In doing this, I forgive you and I let you and any power you have over me go.