How I feel matters.
This is probably one of the boldest and courageous statements a human can make.
There is a concept in Buddhism called The Second Arrow. In life, arrows hit us all the time (bad days, arguments, disagreements, bills, car accidents, etc). The first arrow is when something bad happens and we naturally feel badly about what happened. The second arrow is when I say to myself I should not feel the way I feel about what happened. The second arrow is self-harm and only causes us more pain. We often spend more time obsessing over the second arrow than trying to stem the bleeding from the first.
How you feel matters and how I feel matters. And no one, including you, gets to tell you that you should not feel the way you feel. There are enough first arrows hitting us all the time. Let’s try to avoid the second arrow as much as we can.
It’s best to tend to the first arrow, comfort yourself, and ask for comfort from others. Eventually, as with all things, this too shall pass.
“A wiser course of action is to avoid that second arrow by simply experiencing discomfort without reacting to it. We do this by being mindful — cultivating a patient, non-reactive, curious, and welcoming attitude towards anything in our experience that seems unpleasant.” – Wildmind Buddhist Meditation