“If you need a friend
Don’t look to a stranger
You know in the end, I’ll always be there
But when you’re in doubt
And when you’re in danger
Take a look all around, and I’ll be there” The Promise, When In Rome
I’ve been thinking about writing a post reflecting on a year of blogging. Then yesterday, a woman I adore wrote me the kindest message and I knew exactly what I needed to write about.
I love writing. I always have. It’s my way of making sense of the things swirling around in my head. I have journals and secret journals. I have scratch pads and post-its. My office is filled with stacks of notes and a tac board of ideas and thoughts. However, I was scared of sharing my words publicly. In fact, this blog is actually three years old and went through several “starts” before I actually had the courage to share it like I have this last year.
About courage. I’m not the kind of person that can set out on something like this without at least a handful of people in my corner. I recently rewatched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy (say what you will about that show but I’ll watch it until they rip it from my hands). At the end of the episode Christina said to Meredith, “You make me brave.” Needless to say, I started sobbing.
To my husband Bryan and my best friend Josh: You make me brave. You’ve shared every single post I’ve written and some you’ve shared twice. Each time you share a post I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. You both make me brave. This blog is and always was because of you.
Now for those of you that have also shared a post or sent me kind words, please know you make me brave as well. I keep your messages and read them when I feel a little less brave. Your kindness made and continues to make all the difference in my world. I learned that kindness and generosity are so much more powerful than cruelty. When people said to me “Oh no, I don’t read that thing” or “That’s not really my kind of thing” or comments I will not share because they hurt my feelings. People are well within their right to have those thoughts or opinions. But, when they did, I thought of the kindness and generosity and all the badness and fear faded away.
I learned this last year to support the people you love. It’s incredibly powerful to verbalize support and share kindness with the people in your world. The world is not a bad place. I believe that most of us are just fumbling around doing the best we can with what we have. I think that most people are kind and good. I know this because I’ve put myself out in the world in vulnerable ways and the response was so much more kind than it was cruel. Yes, the internet can be a toilet and some people will say things that are hurtful but most people will not. The kindness, love, and gratitude in the world can snuff out out the darkness.
Finally, I can never say thank you enough to those of you that have shared in on this journey with me. I just can’t find words to express how much your kindness means to me. So, in the words of the great and powerful Shonda Rhimes: You make me brave.
“If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I’ll be waiting
Time after time” Time After Time, Cyndi Lauper