Sacred Safe Space Meditation

(bummer disclaimer, someone recently stole my work and tried to pass it off as their own. this, of course made me quite angry because well, that’s not a very cool thing to do and the contents of this blog and of my training courses are intellectual property and they belong to me. please don’t steal things. if you like something, give the person credit, if you want to present something to others, ask first. okay? love.)

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
Mary Oliver

I wrote this mediation for a training I’m doing tomorrow. I know that many of us are overwhelmed and stressed out by the chaos that’s happening in our world. I want to share with you a moment of peace so you may warrior on with all the strength you need.

Big shout out to my sister in law Kara for having the courage to tell me I needed to be better about my boundaries. We need our tribes to keep our heads together because we can’t always see when we are burning out.

Love.

Sacred Safe Place Meditation

Let’s begin with a Be Here Now practice, this will help us fully in this moment

Let’s take a few full deep breaths, in the nose slowly, and out of the mouth slowly

Pause

As you continue to take slow deep breaths

Please scan your body for any tension or stress

Pause

Starting from the tip top of your head all the way down to the very bottom of your feet

Please try to rest and relax your body, releasing the stress in your body

Sometimes it helps to relax your jaw or roll your neck and shoulders

To relax your stomach or shake out the tension in your leg

Take your time to release all the stress and tension in your body

Pause

Continuing to take slow deep breaths, feel your chest and abdomen expand and contract

With each breath feel, your body becomes more and more relaxed

Pause

Sometimes it helps to remind yourself that right now, in this moment, you are safe

Right now, in this moment, you are safe

Pause

Try to rest in the feeling of safety and relaxation

Right now, in this moment, you are safe

Pause

Now please visualize yourself in a place, either real or imagined, where you feel completely safe

Continuing to take slow deep breaths

Notice all the details of this place, the sights, the sounds, how it feels in your body to be in this place

Pause

Continuing to take slow deep breaths

Take a moment to enjoy the feeling of safety of this sacred safe place

Pause

Continuing to take slow deep breaths

Say these phrases to yourself slowly as you breathe

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I be loved

Continuing to notice all of the details of the sacred safe space that surrounds  you

Pause

Continuing to breathe deep an full breaths

Repeat the phrases slowly – there is no need to rush here and now

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I be loved

As you continue to breath, rest your mind and body in this sacred safe place

Pause

Now as we prepare return to the group, we remember that this sacred safe place is always available to us, it is just a deep breath away

And continuing to breathe deep an full breaths

Repeat the phrases slowly

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I be loved

When you are ready, you may slowly open your eyes and join us

 

 

 

 

Yes, I’m Butt Hurt

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

First, I want to officially end the use of the term butt hurt. Where did it come from? Why does your butt hurt? Stop doing things that hurt your butt.

Moving on, I keep seeing posts on social media about how I’m butt hurt because Trump is our president. I’m assuming that means, I’m not happy with the fact that he’s president, that would be a correct assertion.

After Obama was elected, I was talking to a colleague about how upset I was about what I was seeing on social media. She looked at me and said “unfriend them” and I had a revelation, I have permission to make social media safe for me. So, I often unfriend or unfollow (I unfollow if I really like you but your posts upset me and I don’t want to stop liking you). I know people have done the same to me and that is A-OK. We’re not all meant to like each other or agree. Diversity!

I think that social media is an incredible tool to help mobilize movements and connect people with shared values. I do not think it needs to feel like I’m chewing razorblades when I log on.

Next, as challenging as this week has been I am comforted by a few things. First, my friends, family, and manager are some of the best people on this planet. I will never know how I got so lucky to share my life with these people. I am better, braver, and smarter because of my circle of influence. Second, historically speaking, when you fight for human rights you are always on the right side of history but often in the minority. People calling me butt hurt (seriously with that phrase?) are trying to shame me into submission or into agreement and that will never happen.

Listen, this country had a WAR, A WAR, over whether or not we could OWN HUMANS AS SLAVES, A WAR (when I use caps I am screaming as I type). There were so many people that wanted the right to own  humans as slaves that we had to go to war. Minority groups have always had to fight the majority for human rights that’s how this works.

But…

WE own this country. We, of all shapes, sizes, colors, faiths, beliefs, values, and on and on.

I’m not butt hurt, I’m patriotic. I am an active part of the WE and I will always be and active part of the WE. I will always look out for the parts of WE that are not being treated fairly. That’s my dedication and service to this country: to protect the WE.

We owned it under Obama and WE STILL own it under Trump. That’s how this shit works.

Yours truly,

The patriotic butt hurt snowflake

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

Love.

(featured image is a poem by nayyirah waheed you should buy her book and read her poetry)

I’m Dying And So Are You

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

  • I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  • I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  • I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  • I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

When I worked/studied at Purdue, I interned at a cancer center. That experience quite literally changed my life. Some people have asked why I stopped blogging. Truthfully, I lost my words after the election. I lost my hope. I never wanted this blog to be an op-ed or rants and raves and for months that is all I could bring forth.

Then, my husband convinced me to go to the Women’s March on Washington. To be honest, I was scared to go to this march I’ve been politically active my entire life. I’ve attended numerous marches and rallies. Social justice is in my bone marrow. But, after seeing the violence at what’s his name’s rallies, I did not want to get hurt or die.

This excuse did nothing to dissuade my husband from telling me a truth I already knew in my heart: I would strongly regret not going. I talk with people every day about living consistently with their values and now I needed to do the same.

We drove overnight, through dense fog, listening to 80’s hair bands, and stopping at dive bars. I do love a good road trip. We arrived at five in the morning and suited up. The energy was palpable. I was where I needed to be. We found the stage hours before the march and waited. We didn’t say much. The speakers started and the crowd was roaring with passion.

This is the resistance. Hate and fear will not stand. We will fight. We are fighting.

The crowd continued to grow and grow and grow. At one point, I looked up the hill at Independence Boulevard and saw thousands of people flooding into the space. It astounded me. I will never forget that moment as long as I live and I will be glad I went as long as I live.

Sharing that space with those people, my people, changed me on a fundamental level. I had words again. I knew that love would win because millions of people took up arms to fight for love to win. I had a feeling of hope for the first time since the early morning of November 9th. To my surprise, I still feel hopeful despite what that man is doing with his dirty pen.

You see, alternative facts are lies and the truth always wins. Lies are too unstable to withstand the test of time. This man is full of lies. He has hijacked minds to think we need to fear one another. There is no need for a wall or a registry.

The genius of his plan is brain science. When humans are afraid they operate using the limbic system. This part of the brain is wired for safety and it is easily convinced to be afraid. What is worse is that when we are afraid the smart parts of our brains are turned off. The prefrontal cortex is where compassion, critical thinking, and rationality are located. We need this part to connect in healthy ways with others. We cannot do that when we are afraid. You are safe, if you are reading this, in this moment, you are safe.

What does any of this have to do with the regrets of the dying and my internship at a cancer center? Everything.

When I worked with the dying they taught me so many lessons about what truly matters in life. For eighteen months, I was reminded to live a life that fit my truth. They reminded me that my voice matters. They told me to never be ashamed of my beliefs and who I am. They told me that in the final analysis, I would regret the times I did not speak up when I knew it was the right thing to do.

I heard stories that haunted these people about the times they swallowed their words. They grabbed me by the shoulders and begged me to be true to myself. They told me to do it now, whatever it was that I needed to do, because there is no tomorrow. They kindly reminded me that as long as I was breathing there was hope. And, despite the chaos, I’m still breathing.

These beautiful souls shared their truths with me and I promised them I would not forget their stories or insights. I have not and will not. They gave me the greatest secrets of life: Speak your truth, live your truth, be your truth.

I summon these souls when I speak up or post something online. I see their faces and remember their words. I carry them with me in the pockets of my heart. I will speak my truth despite my fears, I will love every moment of this life, I will take adventures, I will say I love you, I will do it all. I promised them I would and I am loyal to my promises.

I will speak my truth about this man, his people, and his pen. Bullies or lies will not deter me. I will not be ashamed of my values and my truth.  I will not tolerate hate in my space. I will use my boundaries to protect my space. I will love my tribe harder than I ever have. I will keep my space sacred. I will protect you.

I promise.

Love.