Dear Josh.

Dear Josh,

This week has been tough. Honestly, it’s been hard since the early hours of November 9th. I’m worried about the world and the country we both inhabit. It was brought to my attention that I am focusing on the fear and not on the love. I did write a post about hate yesterday so there is some proof in that pudding.

So, today, I will focus on the love.

I have written to you on this blog before. This blog was largely inspired by you and our millions of conversations about the ways the world works. However, the previous posts were written about you and Nathan and you and Bryan but never just to you.

Meeting you changed my life. It’s curious how people are put on our paths. I know I’m much more spiritual than you but believe me when I say, you are my soulmate. Before I met you, I struggled so much with insecurity and trusting my own voice. In the first moments after meeting you, with your blonde hair and dew rag, I knew that something special was happening.

It happened instantly. We were best friends immediately. It’s like we knew each other our entire lives. I can’t even point to the moment where we transitioned from casual friends to best friends. Maybe it never existed.

How do you thank someone for seeing the real you and loving the real you or more, introducing you to the real you? Well, I’m not sure but thank you is all I have at this moment. To be loved for who you are is the best gift a person can give you.

I think you are phenomenal and courageous. I am so proud of you and what you’ve done with your life. I am a better person because I know you. I could tell the thousands of stories of the things we’ve done or the times we’ve shared but those belong to us. Honestly, those stories could fill a book more than a blog. I don’t have time for that.

Cheryl Strayed says “Let your friends save you” I do and you did.

Why am I saying all of this today? Because people think activists and feminists are angry and scared (well, sometimes). They think we stomp around in our combat boots hating men and screaming “Fuck the world!” (got me there)

But more often than not, we love hard. Activists love so hard and big that sometimes it takes our breath away. We believe in love because love has saved us and we know that love is the only way to be. We fight for love and justice.

To quote Cornel West “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.”

I am writing this with selfish intentions. I need to focus on the bonds that sustain me in these trying times. I need to focus on the loving connections and the people that accept me. I am writing this to remind me of the people I carry in my pockets and in my soul. I am writing this to refuel and recharge and to remind myself that even if this all burns we have our people.
On Sunday, Bryan and I walked by two elderly ladies getting out of their car to go to the rally. One was using a walker and the other was shuffling along next to her. I pointed to them and told Bryan I was looking at my future. I told him that Josh would be using the walker saying: “Seriously, Sissy do we still have to do this, it’s too cold for this shit”
I miss you everyday.
Thank you,
Sissy
Love.
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