A friend of mine is in town for the week (I love her ) and we were talking last night about a time in my life when I (significantly) lacked confidence and what that felt like. Honestly, I think we all struggle with confidence from time to time but there were times when I thought that I was just not good enough at anything.
This post makes me so sad for the person I was.
There was a time in my life when people would tell me how to dress, how to do my hair, or what I should act like or talk like. My laugh was too loud and my opinions were too much. When I shared these stories with my friend, I could see her sadness and that made me sad. It’s just not nice to tell people that how they are in the world is wrong. I never needed a makeover, I was good enough, what I needed were people that love me just the way I am.
If I want to wear sneakers with a dress, I will do just that.
If I want to laugh out loud, I will do just that.
If I want to share my opinions on issues that are important to me, I will do just that.
I was doing a training with adolescents last week and a table of young women were asking such incredible questions. One young lady asked why I did not have children and I answered that it was complicated. She looked confused and made some guesses that were sweet but incorrect. I summed it up like this: it takes a lot of courage to live a life true to yourself and some people will never understand or agree with some of your life choices and that’s okay. If you pause and consider your life honestly, you will know what an honest life for you looks like for you. It’s scary but it’s worth it. It is so worth it.
When I was in first grade I wore fake glasses without lenses to school because I thought they looked cool. This is who I am.
Why is this such a radical way to be in the world?
If you are struggling with confidence and the people around you are always picking you apart, you don’t need new clothes, you need new people.