“For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth”
“I, I should have told you I would be difficult.
I should have shown you the scars on my soul.
I should have told you I wanted you,
I wanted you to take care of me
without allowing you to gain any of my control.”
-Lori McKenna, Beautiful Man
Love can look like a grand gesture played out on a megatron at a baseball game. But, my favorite place to find love is in the nooks and crannies of our daily lives. That is where the best kind of love lives and thrives. That is where the grows. These are my favorite love stories.
My lovelies, let me share with you my favorite love stories.
“One forgives the other”
“One takes the garbage out”
“One smiles at the other when the house is a mess and the kids are screaming”
“One crawls up next to other as they cry on the bathroom floor, and just holds them”
“They catch eyes at a party and just know it’s time to go”
“One grabs the other’s hand while at the grocery store”
“One grabs the other around the waist while making dinner and thanks them”
“One looks at the negative pregnancy test and says to the other, while hugging: We’ll keep trying”
“One remembers that the laundry needs to be folded and does so”
“One remembers that today is going to be a long day for the other and does everything they can to make it a little easier”
“One makes dinner for the other”
“One picks up a bottle of wine on the way home to share with the other”
“One holds the other at a funeral”
“One takes the other to the hospital at 3am”
“One calls the other and can’t wait to tell them the good/funny news”
“One kisses the other when they get home. A good long kiss.”
“One tells a story about the other, proudly, in front of a group of people”
“One walks the dog”
“One gives the kids a bath”
“One loves the other’s friends and family even when it isn’t easy”
“One does something just because it might make the other smile”
“One tells the other that they’re sorry”
“One cuddles up next to the other while they sleep at night and whispers “I Love You” in their ear”
“One endures a rom-com or action movie just to share time with the other”
“One takes the kids to the other room to give the other a moment”
“One cuddles with the kids and the other as they watch a movie and share laughs”
“They have a dance party in the kitchen on a Tuesday night”
“One listens to the other patiently and kindly”
“One asks the other what they need”
“One forgives the other for being selfish or mean”
“One forgives the other for moments of thoughtlessness”
“One forgives the other for forgetting”
“One always, every day, forgives themselves and the other”
“One kills the bat that’s flying around the house while the other hides under the bed”
“One cheers for other while they play a video game”
“One tells the other they’re beautiful or handsome and the other believes it because they can see the truth in the other’s eyes”
You see, love is so simple. We make it hard by forgetting to take care of it. When you love someone the love becomes it’s own thing. Love is like a plant and needs to be watered and fed all day every day or it withers and dies.
The greatest love stories are summarized by: “I didn’t quit when it was hard” and “I forgave them.” I am not impressed by a fairy tale that ends when they marry or involves a handful of dramatic gestures. I want to know what happens when one of the partners royally screws up. I want to know how you love one another in the minutiae of daily life. That is where a love story is created. That is also where a love story can be destroyed.
Do me a favor, look at your beloved today and say: “Sweet, baby, honey, darling, I love you and I am so grateful for you and this life we share.” I hope this makes both of you smile and softens what ever life has placed before you.
If you are unable or unwilling to say those words to your partner, you need to think about what is happening in your relationship. Because, my lovelies, if you can’t say that, your love is dying or already dead.
“I don’t mind spilling my hot sauce onto my white shirt
I don’t mind the twinge when I walk in that knee that I hurt
I don’t mind if my gums peeling back or my hair getting thin
Long as I’m with you I win, long as I’m with you” Ani DiFranco, Smiling Underneath